Simple questions to deepen friendships
By Jim LaDoux
Every encounter with other people is an opportunity to learn more about them - their backgrounds, their gifts, their motivations, their dreams, and their challenges. As part of my everyday reinvention activities, I often challenge myself to learn something new about my wife, my kids, my co-workers, my friends, and the people I interact with in person, by phone, via text, by email or by Zoom. It forces me to move beyond my comfort zone as well as to slow down and to be more people-oriented rather than focusing on the next project on my checklist. I never regret these encounters because they lead to new friendships, new insights, and new ideas.
Consider asking one or more of the questions below to at least five people this week and make note of what you learned, and what surprised you about the encounter. Then ask yourself, "What would happen if I did this every week?"
Consider asking one or more of the questions below to at least five people this week and make note of what you learned, and what surprised you about the encounter. Then ask yourself, "What would happen if I did this every week?"
SAMPLE QUESTIONS TO ASK
- What's the best thing that's happened to you this week?
- What are you looking forward to this week?
- What do you enjoy doing in your free time?
- When's your birthday? How do you usually celebrate it?
- What do you like to talk with others about? Which topics do you avoid?
- What groups, teams, or organizations are you part of?
- Where do you like to go out for dinner?
- How did you end up in this role, line of work, neighborhood, church, etc.?
- What are some causes you support?
- What skill would you like to develop this year?
- Is there a movie or TV series you've watched recently that you'd recommend?
- How do you like to spend your vacations?
- What words of advice would you give to others who seek to live well?
- Do you have any sports teams you like to watch and cheer on?
- If you were to describe the ideal day/job/place to live, what would that look like for you?
QUESTIONS | APPLICATIONS
- When's the last time you struck up a conversation with another person?
- Do you usually initiate conversations with new people or wait for others to do so?
- Of the people you already know, who would you like to spend more time with?
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